When we read the story of Yosef and the brothers we get a very strange feeling. We understand the strained relationships between Yishmael and Yitzchak, and between Yaakov and Esav. In those cases, we comforted ourselves by saying that they are two completely different nations.
However, here, we are dealing with the children of Yaakov, the foundation of Am Yisrael. It's very difficult to accept the tense relationship here. How can adult brothers get to such a profound hatred for each other to the point of that they were willing to kill Yosef, and then later sell him into slavery, especially after his own mother passed away. They too understood how terrible this was because they tried to hide it from their father.
The Psukim tells us the murky relationship that starts with Yosef telling his father bad things about his own brothers. The Psukim don't tell us exactly what Yosef said and whether it was true or not. Chazal bring two opinions of what Yosef blamed his brothers of: One says that he blamed them not behaving nicely to the children of the maidservants, and the other says that he blamed them of immoral acts. The fact that the Torah doesn't tell us the details about what Yosef said to his father shows that it was not the real reason for his brothers' hatred for him.
The real reason is that the brothers saw that their father favored Yosef over them. Yaakov makes for Yosef a special coat that looked like royal robe. Of course their brothers would become jealous when they see their father discriminating against them. The Torah doesn't stop there, and continues to go on about the growth of this hatred over time. Yosef tells them about his dreams,. In the first, they all gathered bundles of wheat, and the brothers' bundles bowed down to Yosef's bundle. In the second dream, Yosef dreams about eleven stars, the sun, and the moon all bowing down to him.
The brothers rebuke him after the first dream. Do you wish to be a king over us? Do you want to be a ruler over us? But Yosef doesn't understand his brothers' anger, and proceeds to tell them his second dream. This filled the brothers with a murderous rage against Yoesf. We have to ask ourselves why was it so important for Yosef to tell his brothers his dreams and to cause them to get jealous? Didn't he know that he is getting himself into trouble? Can't he just simply leave those dreams to come true without telling others? They are just dreams. What does Yosef gain by telling them to his brothers? The key to all this hatred can be put in one verse: "ולא יכלו דברו לשלום.", "And they couldn't even say Shalom (to Yosef)".
Some of our sages say that this is praise for the brothers, that they are not double faced, and whatever they felt they would speak openly about, or in this case not speaking at all in order to show how they felt. But after all, the simple understanding is this verse describes the profound hatred the brothers had for Yosef. They couldn't even wish him good morning or goodbye.
This story describes that there is misunderstanding between the brothers. If only the brothers would speak with Yosef and ask for explanations for his dreams, if only the brothers would ask their father why he favored Yosef over them. But, instead of talking, the Pasuk says "לא יכלו דברו לשלם". From there the problems started. When Yosef recounts his dreams, he isn't even aware about what the other brothers feel about what he's telling them. Yosef doesn't understand how angry he's making his brothers and the situation he's putting himself in. This is why he still goes off to Shechem by himself where he would be alone with his brothers. It's a case of severe lack of communication that started with "לא יכלו דברו לשלם".
Rav Hirsch says that when there is a bad relationship, everything that the other person does is annoying and disturbing, even if it's a good thing. But, when there is friendship, everything the other does is seen in a good light. On Chanukah, after we declared victory over the Greeks, we survived and flourished for about 200 years, but after 200 years, we lost our land and went into exile for the second time. We each had our own view on how to fight against the Romans, and we fought against each other.
This disunity, also happens in our days. There was a terrible Machloket before October 7th, but now we are all united. We are confident that through our Achdut we will succeed as one nation and defeat our enemies just as HaShem did miracles in their days. Amen!
Rabbi Tal