There was once a child that walked with his father in a forest. Every few minutes, he would ask his father different questions, like, “Why are the trees in the forest so thick?” and, “Why does no one live in the forest?” With every question the child asked, his father would respond that he doesn’t know. After a while of asking questions, the child told his father, “I hope I am not bothering you with all these questions.” The father responded to his son, “Of course I don't mind you asking these questions. If you don’t ask, how will you know!”
In the Torah there are three places that the Torah teaches us to educate our children. One of the places is at the beginning of our week's Parsha. The pasuk says “HaShem said to Moshe, speak to the Kohanim the sons of Aharon and say to them.” The obvious question is, why does the pasuk redundantly say, “and say to them” at the end? According to Chazal, quoted by Rashi, this redundancy serves as a reminder to adults to prioritize the education of their children. Given the complex laws of impurity that Moshe related to the Kohanim after that opening, parents must ensure that they guide their children along the correct path to uphold these Halachot.
But if we look deeper in the location that this commandment is written, the words the Torah uses, and the words of Chazal, we will find that there are three dimensions to Chinuch. The location here is very telling, since we are talking about Kohanim. The Mefarshim explain that this is the most appropriate setting to talk about educating our children, because Kohanim are very different from others, especially in the times of the Beit Hamikdash. The son of the Kohen would have undoubtedly said that it is not fair that he is different from others. If the father is wise, he would sit down with his son and explain to him how special he is that he can serve in the Beit Hamikdash. After the son realizes that he has the privilege to be a Kohen, he will no longer be jealous of his friends.
The second thing we learn is from the pasuk saying “The sons of Aharon.” Of course the Kohanim are the children of Aharon, why do we need to mention it? The answer is that one needs to first elevate the child and encourage him and praise him, and only then can he guide him through rebuke. That's why the pasuk says “Sons of Aharon” to show that you are from a distinguished family.
The third and final dimension is the example that the parents show their children. The pasuk here doesn’t say to the parents to teach their children, but rather it talks about the father, and so to speak, teaches him. We learn from here that when it comes to Chinuch, one has to show a proper example to his children, and only then will his children learn from him. The parents need to show an equal love for the Torah and mitzvot to the love that they want from their children, so that they should see that the parents themselves also hold themselves to these principles. There is no other way besides this.
There once was a father that chased after his son with anger on his face, and would force him to sit and learn. No matter what, it wouldn’t work, and he would not want to learn. The father complained to his rabbi about his son’s lack of a will to learn. The rabbi asked him, “How did your father teach you?” The father responded that he did to him exactly what he does to his son. The rabbi said, “What you did to your father, your son now is doing to you. You have to use a different method by showing an example.”
This is exactly what we learn from Avraham Avinu, as it says in the verse that Avraham ran to bring food for his guests, and Yishmael learned this from him.
Simirlarty, the Chafetz Chaim learns that one should first do the Mitzvot, and only then will his children follow him, as the verse first says, “In Sukkot you shall dwell,” and only after does it say, “So that your [future] generations should know.”
May we all be a good examples for others, but especially for our children, Amen.